Stats Reveal Small Town Gal has Huge Ego

Has Allison Miller's recent brush with celebrity on CraziestGossip.com gone to her head? A recent number crunch of the CraziestGossip.com site statistics revealed that 17 separate searches were made for the phrase "allison miller craziestgossip". All searches were made by the same computer and all within a single week, apparently indicating that someone went on a week-long bender of much needed self validation. Miller refutes the accusation, claiming that the frenzied googler is not her. "What are you talking about? Why wouldn't I just type in CraziestGossip.com? You idiot." Words of a crazed ego-maniac? You be the judge.

The search phrase in question is the second most popular to date, only eclipsed by the phrase "emily joyce naked."

Scarlett J "Not That Hot"

Looks like membership in the controversial organization known as The Boston Matadors is finally paying off. Or is it? One longtime BM recently received the highest honor awarded by that group: the privilege of meeting saucy starlet Scarlett Johanssen. His report? "I wasn't impressed," he stated, keeping both eyes on the Superbowl. "She seemed like a typical hot 24 year old who expects everything to stop when she opens her mouth." And the kicker: "She's not even that hot." Every incredulous "Really?" posed by this relentless reporter was answered with an increasingly disinterested "Yeah." Not one to take a half-fag's New Englander's verdict on The Scarlett Lady, The Squealer resolves to deliver her own eyewitness take, although her interest in this matter promises to flag and disappear within minutes of posting this report.

Mankind Doomed as Dave I Powerless Against the Covenant

Has veteran Halo-gamer Dave I lost his long vaunted video gaming skills? Our correspondents attended a Super Bowl party at the westside's exclusive hideaway Club I this weekend and report that this former "Master Chief" was performing more like a "Master Chef." In between getting schooled in rounds of Halo 3, Dave retreated to the kitchen to cook nachos, sour cream and onion dip, and other delectables. But despite his culinary conquests, this SPARTAN super-soldier came up victory-less in all games played.

"How did you guys get so good at video games?" asked Dave of his fellow gamers. "I've got a lot of homework to do."

He sure does. For his sake, CraziestGossip hopes that he's doing his studying in the living room and not the kitchen!